It's all about you

It seems obvious, right?

I’m at a function, a social event, I get to talk to people who I don’t know, who don’t know me. Conversations inevitably get round to what we all do for a living. I tell someone I’m a life coach and I usually see one of three reactions:

1) The wannabe: this would be the “I don’t really know what that is but it sounds kind of buzzy so I’m just going to nod sagely and possibly even google that later”, or maybe they’ll manoeuvre me toward the Ladies for an immersion session, then walk away clutching my card. Basically they’re uber cool or restrainedly inquisitive. I love these guys.

2) The enlightened: These folks get it; they’ve probably used or are using a life coach themselves, they’re very in tune with themselves and usually very comfortable in their skin. Their reaction is usually one of unbridled enthusiasm and encouragement.

3) The sceptic: thanks to the media, and the charlatan element of everything, this person rolls their eyes. In their mind I’m a cowboy of the non horse riding kind. They saw the Speakmans once, they KNOW. I can’t blame them, and if they let me extol the virtues of what I do, chances are they just come away thinking that not only are Life Coaches out to take their money in return for telling them to get a grip, but they’re also a bunch of hippies. Inner light my arse.....I might as well have said that I’m a psychic. Failing a grumble, it might be worse and I’m asked to cure them with my magic powers. It makes my heart sink and feels, I imagine, like telling someone you’re a comedian and getting the vomit-worthy response: Tell us a joke then? Go on.

It doesn’t really matter what gets you to engaging a life coach, but the results and the benefits are dependent on you understanding that this gig is all about you, and that there’s really nowhere to hide. Don’t go to a life coach if you’re not ready to transform your life in ways you didn’t imagine or believe were possible. We’re not a baby-steps kind of people.
To get the very best from your life coach you need:

1. To come with an open, honest and utterly courageous mindset. You might not know what you want right now, your life might even feel a bit of a mess in places. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are present, authentic and committed to making things better.
2. To be willing to dig deep. Whilst coaching is forward focused, we need to look back to see where key decisions, behaviours and outlooks where fostered. We need to examine your relationships, your mistakes, your successes, your drivers; the real ones that is, not your pre prepared Miss World speech about charity and adopting a donkey. 
3. Understand that failure is SO important and worthy of celebration. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” ― Thomas A. Edison
   
4. To be totally and utterly accountable.
   
5. To be committed to growth, happiness and dreaming bigger. Some people feel much more secure in a small world with little reason to be cheerful. Don’t hire a coach if you don’t want to push beyond this.
6. Be ready for positive change and support. That uncomfortable kind of support that 3) hints at.
7. Be prepared to set the goals you REALLY want to achieve. Because once we’ve worked out the former, that latter is inevitable.