Twist in my sobriety

If lock-down hasn’t made you aware of your less attractive habits, I don’t know what will. I have discovered so much about myself, and recent clients have come to me after realising that their relationship with food, exercise, appearance and all manner of other things is not what they would like. Most notable, has been just how many people struggle with their relationship with alcohol. Currently in the UK, a whopping eighty four percent of men, and forty three percent of women want to drink less...and more than 5.5million people gave up alcohol for dry January in 2019...if booze is so great, why don’t these numbers reflect that?
Alcohol addiction is real; you don’t have to be a morning drinker, or even a daily drinker, to suffer alcohol abuse. In fact, like all addictions (or ‘unhealthy relationships’ which is a far more accurate term for the ‘need’ you might experience) – it is the way in which you think about it which determines if it is a problem. If you obsess about alcohol, it may look like this:

• Scanning friends and families fridges for booze upon arrival at their houses when visiting
• Checking if your mates are ready for the next drink at a pub, dread upon hearing last orders, or ‘stocking up’ by getting 2 drinks at a time, irritation at long waits or queues (not likely at the moment, but if you have experienced this you’ll know what I mean!)
• Panic when you realise you’ve just poured your last glass of wine
• Shame at late night visits to the off licence or supermarket
• Black Outs (that is, waking up on your sofa, in a strange place, or having memory patches whereby there are swathes of time that you cannot recollect)
• Discovering you have offended or upset someone but don’t know how
• Anger or irrational feelings when someone is drinking and for whatever reason, you cannot
• Annoyance at sober people, people who seem to be able to moderate, and those who just aren’t bothered about drinking
• Testing yourself, either by having ‘days off’ drinking, or even weeks off, in order to feel you are in control (if you’re in control, why would you need to do this??)

Basically, when something external (in this case, alcohol) is dictating your mood, behaviour and feelings, it is an issue for you. You cannot be free if alcohol is in charge. Often things have to get pretty low before we feel the need to act, which is simply human nature, we are a rebellious bunch and denial is one of our favourite habits when we’re hiding behind a crutch such as booze. However, it is entirely possible to redefine your life through changing these unhealthy relationships, the very first thing you can do is to have a good hard look at what is currently making you happy, and what is making you sad, fearful or embarrassed. As always, I encourage you to write your feelings down, and to re-visit them later on. From here, you can gently and carefully take a small step toward healing and improving your happiness levels.